The (Not So) Tragic Death Of FOMO, And How It Might Finally Set Us Free
"There's no FOMO anymore, Kathrin. It's gone!"
I paused, entirely dumb-struck, as the truth of that statement sank into my mind and immediately exploded in a firework of aha-moments, realizations and astonishment. I had just told my bestie about the strange calmness that I had been feeling in the middle of the incredible storm that has come down on us. A calmness that I couldn't really explain, and that stood in such sharp contrast to what I thought I should be feeling.
She was spot-on with her assessment. FOMO, the oh-so-well-known "Fear Of Missing Out", was gone from my life. Died a silent and unimpressive death in the wake of the COVID-19 precautions, no warning signs, no obituary, no funeral, no signs of a struggle or a fight. Just gone.
Had anyone else noticed this yet? Or had my friend out of nowhere just dropped a major truth bomb on me - and maybe on all of us?
It took a moment until I could continue the conversation with her. The impact of this realization struck me profoundly. Without me previously being aware of it, FOMO had been such a substantial part of my subconscious drive, my constant seeking and my endless energy that I almost felt like some part of me had died along with it. From the moment I got up in the morning until the moment I finally convinced myself to go to sleep, I had been haunted by the question of what I might be missing out on in that very moment. It dawned on me in hindsight that my every move was guided by it. And I realized how exhausting it had been.
On any given day, the sunshine made me nervous to not be outside and enjoy the weather. My open laptop reminded me that there are clients out there that need my help, right now, that I haven't talked to yet. The sound of incoming messages on my phone let me jump to see what just happened, what's new, what I needed to react to. Social media showed me vividly how other people are seeming to make much better use of their time and life and careers than me. There were faster ways to climb the corporate ladder. More rewarding jobs out there. Steeper roads to ride on my bike. More effective diets to follow. More impactful books to read or movies to watch. And if I would just finally keep up my daily routines better, how much more time would I have to achieve all of that?
But now, everything has changed. Facebook and Instagram show thousands of COVID-19 memes and pictures from the toilet paper section at the grocery store - no one is living the good life right now, at least not in my networks. There's no worries about the right dieting when all restaurants shut down and our freezers are filled to the rim with convenience food. There's no better jobs out there right now. Sadly, there's almost no jobs - period. And last but not least, there's no daily routine to be optimized. Because every day is new and different.
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and smiled. Ironically, the freedom from FOMO filled me with a peace and joy that felt inappropriate in light of the storm whirling around us. But I couldn't help realizing what new potential awaits in its absence - and in the realization of its previous impact on us.
And I started to ponder what my life had been under the influence of this irrational but powerful fear. Had I at any point truly been free and able to assess my situation correctly? Had I been able to listen and hear the subtle voice of my heart that was trying to tell me about things of true value and worthiness? Had I stopped enough, marveled at the richness and the blessings of my life, surprised by and grateful for the abundance of this incredible life I'm living? And most importantly of all, was I ever able to truly connect to people in my life in a way that was free from judgement, assessment and expectation?
When there is no other place to be, no other thing to do, no other item to own, no other one to be with - your heart starts to wake up and breathe. Yawn from the nap it had taken while the monkey mind was running the show. And, in light of the absence of FOMO, "should's" and "better's", it starts to ask you a few questions:
Who are you truly? How do you feel, right here, right now? What is enough? What is of true value in your life? What brings you joy and fills you with love, compassion and gratitude?
And then, after it has climbed out of bed and started to look you straight in the eye:
What is yours to do in this world right now? What is called out of you during these times? Who can you make a little bit happier today? What does that light shining inside of you try to bring forth? And how do you want to show up in the world from here on?
These are big questions, fundamental questions, and it might take some more silence and mindful curiosity for us to sit with them for a while. But with the passing of FOMO as Fear Of Missing Out, I hold this deep wish and hope that we will come to replace this acronym with a new meaning, a new way of being. A way to step out of being driven my personal desires, yearnings and the endless superficial rat race that we secretly so despise. Fullness Of Mindful Observation maybe? Or Fun Of Magical Opportunities?
My own creativity ends here, but yours might not. And ours should not! We now have this once-in-a-lifetime chance, as the world slows down, as we retreat into our houses, as we wind down all unnecessary activities, to take this multi-week retreat to ponder and contemplate what we have actually been missing out on for the last years and decades, what we truly want to change about the way we show up in this world, and find deep and powerful meaning for our lives along the way.
